As many of you know, I am facilitating an ongoing discussion/reflection on Orthodox Prayer Life: The Interior Way, by Matthew the Poor (aka Fr. Matta El-Meskeen) at the blog, Here to Pray. Since the topic of faith seemed to me to be of broader interest, I am posting this reflection for those who may not be following the book. When I am summarizing Fr. Matta’s ideas, I type in blue. My own ideas or comments are in black.

To understand what faith is, we begin by looking at what faith is not. It is not a feeling or an emotion. It is not a blind call to leap into mystery. It is not something we force our souls into so that we feel the existence of God and all that is unseen. Faith is not an attempt to deceive my mind so as to convince myself that salvation and everything related to it is true. It is not a repressing of the doubts that make certain issues hard for our materialistic minds to understand or accept. It is not a private opinion. Faith is not something we become convinced of after analyzing, drawing conclusions, or comparing all of the possibilities. It is not the result of scientific investigation.

Some of these statements seem more obvious than others. What is a bit disconcerting, however, is how long and comprehensive the list is. If faith is none of these things, then what is it?

First, the mind must “declare its resignation”, and accept the truths of Christianity without resisting, without investigating. The mind surrenders its powers gladly and lovingly to God in a spirit of obedience. Once this is done, the Holy Spirit begins to reveal to the mind everything that relates to these truths. No one but God can reveal or explain these facts to us because they are not of this world.

But, but… my mind stammers. This is backwards. I need to understand first. How can I surrender to someone or something that I do not understand? And yet, I must concede that, if my mind could, by its own powers, determine the nature of God or whether Christianity were absolutely true, that nature and those truths would have to be pretty limited in scope. Looking at the vast beauty and complexity of the universe, I suppose it is absurd to expect that my mind or any human mind could comprehend its Creator…

God, of course, knows how limited our minds are when it comes to knowing any of the facts about Him, were He not to help us. And that is why He has undertaken the revelation of Himself and everything about our relationship to Him. If we keep His commandments, He will make up for all of these imperfections in our faith and understanding and will “manifest” Himself to us (John 14:21).

The concept of revelation is not new to me. I was taught that God revealed Himself to Abraham, Moses and so on. But there are so many religions on earth – how can I know that this is the one in which the true God reveals Himself? If God wanted to reveal Himself, why didn’t He make it more obvious? And why must we keep commandments in order to receive this “manifestation”? Why doesn’t He simply manifest Himself to everyone everywhere rather than making it so hard?

The word “faith” in the Church is generally used in two ways, one objective and the other subjective. Objective faith has to do with the facts and creeds as expressed in the Bible and recorded in the canons of the Church (based on the Councils and Church Fathers). “The faith” in this sense is not alterable except by the intervention of God’s grace. Subjective faith, on the other hand, is the heart’s ability to respond directly to God in submission and love (though not without conformity to the creeds). Objective faith requires our reason and logic – but also grace. Subjective faith is based on love, obedience and intimacy, relying on God in complete surrender. So absolute is the surrender that this faith is not stopped by apparent clashes with reason or “reality” as humanity might perceive it.

Hmm…So this subjective faith involves love – and that, of course, involves a choosing. If there were only one obvious “truth” that no one could refute or deny, there would be no choosing and therefore no opportunity for love. But I thought faith was a gift. If it is a gift, how does my choice enter in? What if I am not given the gift of faith?

Faith is both a gift and a virtue. The truths of objective faith involve gift: the incarnation and the resurrection are gifts, “supernatural” occurrences. While all of nature is a gift, this redemptive entrance of God into our nature is the greatest gift among the truths of the faith. Because, as fact, it goes beyond our human understanding, it also requires some gift that enables our minds to conceive of “supernatural”. Yet faith is also a virtue because we must want to have it. We must have a desire to believe and a willingness to submit, though we cannot accomplish either without grace. And so it is that God’s grace and man’s will work together – as long as we say yes. 

Even if this is true, I must say that this idea of keeping commandments sounds rather difficult and dull to me. I’m not terribly fond of the notions of obedience and submission either. It sounds like a burdensome life, more like enslavement than anything I would choose. However, the idea of love is appealing. I don’t see how all of these things fit together…

We have been discussing ideas. But there is another element here: redemption and faith in the Redeemer Himself. Before Jesus came to earth, people had the law to follow and prophets to teach them but they did not know God as person. Faith was an attempt to reconcile man’s will with God’s will. It seemed nearly an impossible task on our end. But God continued to pursue us – to the point of entering our human state in Christ, shedding His blood and overcoming the death that our disobedience caused. Out of this was born a new direction for faith – one of love. We are pursued by One who has given Himself completely out of love for us. The law is now written in our hearts and is “spirit and life”, not simply a set of rules on stone tablets. No longer is the goal just to reconcile the will of man with the will of God. Rather, we are made anew so that we may be brought into union with Him, so that the divine may pervade us. The “yoke” of obedience now is not only tolerable but something “easy”, something we love. 

But I don’t know how to begin…

I resign my mind… it is so.

I submit totally… it is so.

Teach me… it is so.

I desire faith… it is so.

I need grace… it is so.

I am loved… it is so.

And now I love… it is so.

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever. Amen.

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(For those who follow the book discussion at Here to Pray, more on this section will be posted there soon. Anyone is welcome to join.)

For just a second, our eyes connected.

It was a hot, humid evening and I sat in my air-conditioned Toyota, waiting for the light to change.

She stood on the sidewalk, looking small and without direction – a little too small to be just standing by herself on that busy road in inner city Cleveland.

She ran up to my car and I leaned over to roll down the window. (Yes, my old vehicle proudly requires manual cranking.)

“I’m scared to go home. I’m afraid of my mother. I don’t know what to do.”

By this time, the light had changed and there were cars behind me. I unlocked the door and let her in so that we could talk. I pulled over to clear the way for those waiting patiently behind me.

I told her that we would figure out something but needed to drive around the corner so we could make some phone calls from a quieter and safer place.

I asked her a few questions about her family, brother and sisters, mother and father. She was the youngest of a good-sized group living with the mother. She had a father whom she visited. She did not know his phone number – or his last name. She did know where he lived, however.

When asked about a phone number for her mother or siblings, she was quick to tell me that she did not want to go back there.

Her sister was getting “whooped” and she was afraid of getting it. She’d been hurt by her mother before.

In the next couple of weeks, she would be entering third grade.

After making a call and considering the limited options available to me, I drove her to 2^nd District further down on Fulton Road. She agreed to talk to the police and I said I would stay with her while she did.

The conversation was short but the police were kind. They gave the impression that perhaps she had done something wrong and was just afraid of punishment. Possible. But so afraid that she would approach a total stranger for help rather than go home?

The police would have to take her back to her mom to talk about it. This was inevitable, I suppose. I asked them in her presence if they would protect her from being hurt when they went to her house.

They assured me that they would. And that they would check the house for cleanliness, adequate food and furnishings and so on.

I know they will do their best.

But I am still afraid for her.

What if everything looks good enough when they arrive and they leave her there? Will Mom rip into her after they are gone? “NOW look what you’ve done!”

Perhaps Mom is not so bad, just overwhelmed by too many kids and the sweltering heat. Perhaps she just blows up now and then and this child is more fearful than most.

Whose car might she get into next time?

I cannot help but feel that I did not do enough – even though there was nothing more that I could legally do at the time.

And so I will now do the one thing left to me – the most important thing: I will pray.

Please join me.

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